Mystery Science Theater 3000 lives! Sort of.

Via an ad at Something Awful, I just discovered a site called RiffTrax. It's an endeavor by Mike Nelson from MST3K which essentially carries on the MST3K tradition:

Welcome to RiffTrax.com, an innovative new site featuring the hilarious DVD commentaries of Michael J. Nelson - Star of the legendary Mystery Science Theater 3000!

At RiffTrax.com, you can download Mike's feature-length commentaries and listen to these "RiffTrax" in sync with your favorite, and not so favorite DVDs. It's like watching a movie with your funniest friend. And it's super easy to do! Just play the DVD and RiffTrax MP3 together and Voila! The Matrix, Star Wars and others just got way funnier!

Basically, a person would download an MP3 for $2.99 (worth it to me), rent or buy the movie (unless they own it, obviously), sync the two, and enjoy an awful film get what it deserves. I just downloaded Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace and Star Wars Episode II: The Attack of the Clones, and the parts I've listened to are pretty funny. The syncing process is way easier than coupling The Wizard of Oz with Dark Side of the Moon. The syncing process is a bit of an issue, but not too much to the point of ruining the overall experience.


Glitter
Anyone who wondered what Mike and the Bots from MST3K would do to a film like, say, Glitter, or Fantastic Four, need no longer live in ignorance. Scanning over the many selections, it would appear as if most of the MST3K cast is involved, particularly Kevin Murphy, the voice of Tom Servo(!). They even get a little help from Chad Vader on Attack of the Clones:

Rifftrax has an account at YouTube where people can see all the previews before downloading the MP3s.

The Birds and The Deadly Bees

So I was watching an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (watch the entire episode at YouTube) called the The Deadly Bees the other day. It's a British film from 1967 about a popstar named Vicki Robbins who collapses due to exhaustion during a performance and is then sent to a farm to convalesce. There are bees at the farm. Deadly bees.

In the film a rock group, The Birds, performs a song called "That's All I Need." As far as the British music scene at the time is concerned, the song and the group are hysterically clichéd. It's as if some mad scientist / British music Svengali / Colonel Tom Parker / Lou Pearlman type created it all in his underground lair by combining parts of Herman's Hermits, The Dave Clark Five, and The Who.

I like to pride myself on having a fairly good knowledge of rock history (particularly the British Invasion), yet I had never heard of The Birds. I would have assumed they were a fictitious band, comprised of actors thrown together for the purposes of the movie, if it were not for the presence of Ron Wood. It looks as if a couple of the band members can't even play their instruments, something the MST3K guys can't overlook. A check at Wikipedia though confirms they were an actual group that disbanded as the result of a Spinal Tap-like (and obvious) problem:

The Birds was one of the top rhythm and blues bands in England during the mid-1960s, and part of the first British Invasion. Even though they recorded fewer than a dozen songs, the Birds are remembered for having a sound as hard as other well-known bands, such as The Who and The Yardbirds.

The best-known member of the Birds was Ron Wood, future guitarist for The Faces and later The Rolling Stones. Growing up in the same neighborhood with several other members of the band, they came together in 1964 (while still in their teens) as the Thunderbirds, based in Yiewsley, West London. When they entered a battle-of-the-bands contest, the organizers of the event persuaded them to go simply as the Birds, to improve their chances of winning. Although they lost the contest, they kept the new, shorter name – a decision which would have significant ramifications later.

When the young band made its first television appearance, they caught the eye of Decca record company executives. The ensuing recording contract resulted in their first two singles, "You Don't Love Me" and "Leaving Here." The Birds seemed destined for stardom with their loud, rhythm-and-blues based rock, receiving equal billing with the Who at some gigs.

The lead singer (Ali McKenzie) seems to have borrowed Roger Daltrey's "Pictures of Lily"-era look and Pete Townshend's windmill guitar move.

However, in the spring of 1965, the Los Angeles based American band The Byrds was dominating the British charts with "Mr. Tambourine Man," released by the newly-formed British CBS Records label. The Birds' manager took legal action to prevent the Byrds from using the name, but the action failed; the Byrds' subsequent tour of England that summer was highly received, leaving the Birds feeling that someone else had stolen their thunder.

They recorded their last single for Decca in late 1965, after which they moved to Reaction Records, changing their name to "Birds Birds," to distinguish themselves from their American counterparts. Unfortunately, their debut album was delayed for nearly a year due to a contract dispute. In 1966, their song "That's All I Need" was featured in the horror film The Deadly Bees. They disbanded in 1967.

Behold:

Here is Vicki Robbins (actress Suzanna Leigh) singing some God-awful contrivance (although the riff is pretty groovy):

"You might want to skim the Peter Lawford off your pool."

Royal Wedding 1951
In 1979, Peter Lawford was in around seven minutes of a cheap ripoff of "Charlie's Angels" called Angels' Revenge (a.k.a. Angels' Brigade, a.a.k.a. Seven from Heaven). In addition, the movie had several other "has-been" actors, such as Jim Backus and Alan Hale, whose popularity had fallen since the 1960s. Jack Palance played the main heavy. Lawford was "Burke," a drug kingpin. I'm fairly certain he was drunky slop for all seven minutes of screen time.

Prior to 1979, the only film Lawford had done was something in 1976 called Won Ton Ton, the Dog Who Saved Hollywood (was there not a dog to save Lawford?). Other than that, before doing Angels' Revenge, he had only worked two times - in a 1977 "Fantasy Island" episode and a "Hawaii Five-O" from 1978. I most likely would have never heard of Angels' Revenge (nor would you have) unless it had been used in a 1995 episode of "Mystery Science Theater 3000" (Mike era). Here are Lawford's seven minutes:


Not really related to Lawford, but something I have to include is Playboy Playmate of the Month for January 1977, Susan Kiger, taking part in a disco musical number called "Shine Your Love." Kiger played one of the "Angels."

sample lyric:

"Shine shine, shine your love
Shine shine, shine your love
Shine shine, shine your love
Shine shine, shine your love"
(repeat)

"It was a lot easier to entertain in the '70s." - Tom Servo

"In the '70s, you could take an abstract concept like 'shining your love' and just go with it." - Mike Nelson

The Soooooooultaker

There is no Stairway to Heaven.
Soultaker was a direct to video release in 1990-1991. It won the Saturn Award in 1992 for Best Genre Video Release. It's God-awful, and only noteworthy due to its being shown on Mystery Science Theater 3000 (1999). Soultaker "starred" Joe Estevez (younger brother of Martin Sheen and uncle of Emilio Estevez and Charlie Sheen) in the title role. He pretty much spends the entire movie with this crazed, expressionless demeanor (I guess this is what a soultaker is supposed to look like):





It co-starred Robert Z'Dar as "Angel of Death." This gentleman has had a career as an actor for one primary reason. See if you can figure out what it has been:
Click to enlarge

Crow: He's like a catcher's mitt with eyes!
Other than a catcher's mitt, he reminds Tom Servo of Michael Learned:
Miss Michael Learned
They (Mike and the 'bots) finally agree he most resembles Paula Cole, which as you can see from this picture, is fairly accurate:
The convoluted mess of a screenplay was written by Vivian Schilling, who also plays the part of "Natalie." Mike and the 'bots keep confusing her with Tonya Harding. Here is a moment in the movie she wrote for herself, which is actually a long sequence, we'll call "the creepy, strange, hilarious bath sequence":
Besides being the first episode of the great series' last season, this particular MST3K episode featured the return of Joel. Here is a little bit of that "historic" occasion:

"Burning Rubber Tires"

Pod People (season three, 1991-1992, Comedy Central)

MST3K

Wikipedia entry

Los Nuevos extraterrestres (1983)